UPDATED Feb 21/17
By William Thomas
Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, they’re already nearly catastrophic.
Late last December, while all eyes were fixed on Santa and a carrot-topped clown, temperatures at the North Pole hit 50 degrees Fahrenheit above normal, despite 24/7 darkness. Out of the park Arctic temperatures prompted climate scientist Dr. Peter Gleick to warn that this Arctic meltdown “is unprecedented and possibly catastrophic."
The intensifying high-northern thaw has already warped and fragmented the jet stream, sending prolonged extreme weather “weirding” across the entire Northern Hemisphere.
But there’s no sign of abrupt climate shift in late-night comedy routines or the U.S. corporate press, where a single top-selling brand dominates every news cycle. What will he do next? is on everyone’s minds.
TRUMP VOWS “NEVER AGAIN” AFTER DISASTROUS PRESS BRIEFING
by William Thomas
When President Donald J. Trump walked onto the raised dais in the gymnasium where he'd ordered the White House Press Room relocated, the high-school echo-chamber resounded with babble and bedlam as reporters raised their hands and shouted for attention, like Wall Street traders trying to get their bids in at the opening bell.
Trump, as always looked resplendent in his long red, penis-pointing tie. Standing behind a podium emblazoned with an exaggerated presidential seal framed by the words, TRUMP INC., the Donald raised his hand for quiet. "I just have a brief statement to read," he began and stopped, waiting for the ribald commentary to die down. "But it's too long and I didn't bring my glasses, so I won't."
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