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Willthomasonline Endorses F-35! | William Thomas Online | William Thomas

Willthomasonline Endorses F-35! 



Switching from the F-35

F-35 Emergency Egress System



WILLTHOMASONLINE ENDORSES F-35!


Calls For More Faulty Jets

 

by William Thomas, USNR (Resigned)


 


This website enthusiastically endorses the never-ending, forever-optimistic, multi-trillion dollar F-35 “production development” program. 


Moreover, willthomasonline.net calls for an immediate doubling of planned production to 3,200 of these $170 million planes-in-progress so that every aircraft in the United States air force, navy, army, marine, coast guard, border patrol and state police squadrons can be replaced by the F-35 "Flying Turkey" as rapidly as possible.

 

These "rush" production increases should aim at scrapping ALL allied military aircraft worldwide and replacing them with this single-seat, single-engine, multi-role, multiple-fault airplane real darn quick, too.


 


Always bring spare gas for your gas-guzzling F-35


F-35 Advanced Inflight Refueling System



While the heavier F-35C navy variant with its cracked main wing spar is preferred, the plain vanilla air force version with its similarly faulty radar, "roulette" oxygen system and easily-overheated fuel (leading to uncommanded engine shutdown) is recommended for all present and pending Middle Eastern aggression, including unprovoked invasions of hot desert countries foolish enough not to arm themselves with nukes.


 

F-35 computer technician requires no electronics to fix onboard abacus


F-35 “ADVANCED" FEATURES

To enhance pilot safety, except in combat, and avoid over-stressing the jet’s frail tail, retrofitted control-input limiters prevent sharp turns. Because of the F-35’s limited weapons load-out, dogfighting pilots are urged not to shoot missiles at enemy planes, but to “save them” in case they’re needed later.

 

Further bolstering pilot confidence, though it’s single “hot” engine is a heat-seeking missile magnet, the F-35’s own air-to-air missiles have at least half the range of their Russian and Chinese counterparts.

 

As an added convenience, any F-35’s flight and fire controls, nav readouts and fuel system can be quickly modified or wiped from any wireless Windows device.

 

Because of its illegal navigation lights, this airplane is prohibited from flying at night over the continental United States it is tasked to defend during daylight hours. Flying the F-35 Lightning II through actual lightning will likely result in the loss of the aircraft.


To preserve the plane’s performance-robbing stealth characteristics, pilots are advised to avoid flying in rain, within electronic view of long-range longwave radars, or with the bomb-bay doors open. (Note: These doors must be fully opened every 10 minutes in flight to cool the airplane’s jam-packed faulty computers.)


 

WEED-WHACKER

What about down in the weeds? By placing friendly ground troops at risk from poor cockpit visibility coupled with random bursts of gunfire and erratic slow-flight performance, the sluggish, gas-guzzling Vertical Take-Off and Landing marine model is an excellent choice for ending civilian carnage from "close-air support" utilizing rapid-fire, womb-warping radioactive munitions. 


The F-35s "flip-down" depleted-uranium cannon cannot be aimed with any accuracy and is likely to hang fire due to onboard computer faults, making it perfect for such nonviolent displays of wasted wealth.

 


$400,000 F-35 jet pilot's helmet with optional “fail-safe" oxygen system


FOOTBALL HELMETS MAY NOT BE SUBSTITUTED

In all cases, the F-35's costly "Sword of Damocles” VR helmets should be retained as they blind and confuse pilots, and may even break their necks during emergency ejection. This unique feature will make many aviators reluctant to attempt to manage the F-35. 


Coupled with the current military pilot shortage in the USA and allied nations, this VDS (Virtual Death Sentence) helmet means even more of the fantastically costly airplanes they're attached to will remain safely on the ground doing no harm to anyone or anything except the host nation’s GDP and its languishing sick and poor. 

 


F-35 WILL END HIGH-TECH WARS

After much head-scratching and knee-slapping hilarity, this veteran reporter and former Cessna driver is convinced that the F-35 will end high-tech conflict forever by making the industrialized civilian slaughters currently called "wars" too costly to pursue. 


By totally bankrupting the U.S. and its foolishly trusting, status-conscious allies – while rendering their "down-graded” air forces completely useless – attempting to fight anyone with FUBAR-35s will result in immediate loss of air superiority and catastrophic defeat. Again, rendering war obsolete.

 

Of course, the neglected infrastructure and sold-off social safety nets of any country opting for purchase of these crazy-expensive lemons – which are still being modified, repaired and "developed" even as they roll off Lockheed assembly lines (!) – will cause such stupidly-governed nations to collapse from unmanageable debt and resulting civil strife. Only those with bargain Russian Sukhois and China's new supersonic stealth biplanes (see photo above) will temporarily "prevail" over this dying planet.     

 

Finally, with all the talent, treasure and fast-running-out time being lavished on weapons systems that make a few controlling corporations grotesquely rich but don't actually work outdoors, the F-35 could be the wonder-weapon that finally ends wars between nation-states. 


By ending nation-states.  -



Proposed replacement plane for the F-35


Proposed replacement plane for the F-35 








Published Sources






Tweety unimpressed by F-35

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 发件人     William Thomas 2017